Today relationships are broken in just a minute after indulging in it. The most important and weird part is that people fall in love in no time with each other. They don’t understand themselves and their partner but want to be in relationship. That’s something foolish and illogical for me. People tend to think about their future with their partner after a few hours of going into that relationship. They think they are the real soulmate for their life and exceeds expectations so high that after breaking up or not going through that expectations they become depressed,anxious, sad .
Just understand the consequences before getting into a relationship. The relationship is a slow process. Don’t try to fasten it. It takes a lot of years to understand each other and likes and dislikes. It’s like building a wall. You have to lay that each and every brick day by day. Each brick at a time. And if you tried to fasten the process after some time maybe that wall would breakdown. Take it slowly .
Now I have made so many mistakes in my life that the learnings from those mistakes are a lot. And I am happy to share it with you. Because when you will read mistakes take a lesson from it, learn from my mistakes. A popular entrepreneur said that ” If you want to be successful in anything learn from other people mistakes”
So the reasons for heartbreak nowadays are cheating on a partner, fighting in relationships and some people lose interest in their partner. I’ve seen so many people whose relationship lasted for 4to 5 hours and ended on a lack of trust. See you need to understand the consequences before going into a relationship.
So here are my 5 lessons that I have learned from my past relationships.
1. Emotional dependency:
I was emotionally dependent on my partner so much that their bad actions seem to be hurting me and I overthink it too much. I complained about many things to them. I set those expectations from them but if those not satisfied my mood comes to ground level. I was so dependent that I thought they are my true soulmate and isolated me from my friends. It was like their happiness was my happiness. I started judging myself, sometimes i hated my self because they don’t like my qualities.
From that phase, I understand that to love others you have to love yourself first. The main learning was relationship should be part of your life not the entire life.
2. Taking it slowly
A relationship should be taken slowly. It’s like planting a seed and watering it daily. Watering it daily will help your seed grow way up. Plant your relationship with love, trust, kindness. You have to understand that the things we get faster do not last long. Some relationship broke in 1months, or maybe 2 months. You have to understand the consequences. Dont hurry up your relationship.
3. Broadcasting Relationship
This was the best learning for me. Don’t post your pics on social media in the building stage of relationships. I have done that mistake and after that paid price for it. I felt guilty, bad, and disappointed about that. You don’t have to show the world that you are happy with your relationship or not, the world doesn’t give a shit about that. Post when you and your partner are ready, post when you think its right to do that. Don’t show off on social media. If you love your partner then express your love through actions.
4. Decisions on chats
The social media had become an integral part of society. Everyone uses it to communicate through chats. But one of the major disadvantages of that is we take a lot of big decisions on chats. See chats or texting are the easiest way for miscommunication and how you feel. When you chat you don’t think about the person who will be reading that. You type what you feel. And that’s just miscommunication for ourselves. Texting misinterprets what other people mean. And you end up saying things like you don’t mean to say. We don’t show our true side in texting and we end up messing things. I’ve done it a lot and I regret it now.
If you have to say something or communicate on an important topic try to talk face to face or either on call but don’t fight on text or make decisions on text. It ruins the whole process of relationship.
5. Perfectionism
Nowadays people look for perfect qualities in a partner. They need someone who is perfect than themselves. And they become so obsessed with that they try to change them . see I always thought to get a perfect partner. But the reality is nobody is perfect not even me and not even you. Don’t go for perfection. Everyone has some flaws and accept that and love them. Don’t judge them on their looks, dressing sense, etc. We have to accept what we love in them love them what they are and you will reflect the love to everybody. Thats thekey for success in relationship.
So those were the 5 lessons that I had learned from my past mistakes. See I believe in true love but it should be selflessness. Experiences are great but you have to learned from them. You have to grow emotionally. You have to change yourself.
Have a life outside of them, spend time with friends and family. Change is good. And if you love yourself, you will reflect the love you want to give to your partner.
Daily Hustle 